Visions and the Black Hole Vortex of the Future

Night before last I had 9 hours of visions I prayed constantly and wept until
my eyes bled. I believe I go into a bit of shock when these things
happen. After I was too exhausted to hold a pen I sat, and waited for
my son to come. I could not stop thinking about him the entire time. My
anxiousness for him would not subscide until I saw him.
Those visions were so intense,..all I could do is draw the faces in the
constant streaming visions I still have no read what I wrote on them .
But my door is covered with pictures
Today at 2pm i was hit with visions of my own death. I felt like a horse kicked me in the chest.
Then I stood at the vortex. I have been there before. It is like getting
sucked into a black hole in time and space. It is constant changing
visions and premonitions, like the one of my death, can be altered and
change from anything..a phone call, a smile from a stranger. It is a
gateway of infinite possibilities I can't hardly breath at the vortex.
It feels like I'm at the doorway of a black hole and it takes all my
conscious strength to not get sucked in. The visions floral..millions
by the second and I can feel ever one as if it is happening to me at
that moment. It's mentally, emotionally and physically overwhelming and
frightening. I could not move. My hands locked up in cramps and I could
not get a cigarette or a pen or a tissue for the uncontrollable tears.
I lost consciousness. Chris woke me up at 5:30 I am glad that I am
familiar with the vortex and understand. I have been locked into the
vortex for days before and seen chains of events that altered the irst
outcome I had seen and more. There are dimensions to time and future
and literally an infinite number of one future and possibilities for
ever second of every living thing. One can see the death and birth of
our planet while in the vortex. This experience showed me that there is
a way to control 'what' you see. Before I just tried to take in all of
it like jonny 5. This time i tried to focus my thoughts on jon but it
kept going back to my death and moving. My mind does absorb all of it
but it takes me a while to process just a small part oif it. I know
what not to do. If I camp at the bike bumps I could die as in the
vision but even then, it could be altered by things such as divine
intervention. I'm sure too, that if my mind were trained and focused
that the speed could probably controlled. The vision of my death stod
still for some time. I have been trying to look at my visions closer to
note details in then whereas always before they were so frightening to
me I hurt myself trying to block them all out. That doesn't work. I get
very sick and the visions will come when I am at my weakest state
usually after days of a migraine. I am trying to learn to control the
visions. The empathy makes it most difficult At first I was transfixed
that I died./ It took me some time to try to grasp the whole vision to
get past feeling how i died and see where I died. Then the vision
became a tool I could use to alter one of a million futures I have.
I am weary
I will take better pictures of my door. I noticed I locked prayers with
Christ in a few of them. He constantly tried to teach the power of the
and the mind and how to increase that power by numbers. Two people
praying for the same thing of one mind adds power to the prayer. I
loved his wonderful stories as a child...and he loved the stories of my
great spirit mother, the old Indian woman. You know it was as if she
was his grandmother the way he revered her so respectfully but he was
as a child with that look one his face like mine must of looked when I
heard his stories...
My son will be here soon. He could feel everything i could feel as i
was at the vortex. He said, Mom, stop crying I'll be there as soon as i
can
Many of the visions on the door, I was experiencing same time ..i was
feeling and seeing things that were happening to jon and outcomes and
future outcomes for every action he made. I was so praying hard. He was
so hurt and angry and provoked with jealousy and insecurity the enraged
him. The man was walking with a bat and with intent. I saw the outcome
if he let loose the chaos storm within him. I have always told jon he
has a great power not to be reckoned with or unleashed in confusion or
anger. He could either destroy mankind, or be a leader, helper, and use
that energy to move a mountain. I reminded him last night.
i have been in a communication blackout with jon for about 3 days up to
the door dreams except for thought. i could not even get messages to
him. I believe because mentally and emphatically connected it changed
the outcome of those events for him that night. I belive he could feel
me adding strength, comfort and calmness at that very moment. More so,
I believe the vision itself enabled me to be there out of body.
I felt my sons anguish and it caused the visions which allowed me to be
there in a stringer physical sense and it changed his future. Had I
been unconscious and oblivious to the situation he would have swang
that bat. He wanted to so bad.
I also see, that i was being prepare for these events for days because
i could not eat or sleep. This causes me to be in a heightened hyper
sensitive state I get uncontrollable energy the more i fast and dont
sleep. Im very vulnerable and emotional and with hyper-sensitive
empathy. I believe had i not been in this state i would not have been
able to have been so spiritually strong when the event did happen. My
spirit jumped there within the very thought, that fast. ..I asked for
truth and the wisdom to understand and discern it. And now i can see
events in a bigger picture perspective. I have never fasted. ever. I
have not been hungry or wanted food and i have had no food but i have
never purposely deprived my body for any reason. It amazes me how
attune my spirit really is with my body. It was on natural auto pilet I
look back and now see so many correlations and patterns that i thought
at the time to be random and unconnected. I have always felt things
coming...and i have always lost my apatite and had insomnia for days
leading up to the event or vision. My body is mind run and strong. In
depriving the body and weakening it ..sorta..my spiritual state becomes
stronger. It is not unusual for me to go 4-5 days without eating or
sleeping. This last time I had no symptoms of sleep deprivation but
rather more clear and alert and aware. I understand all that 'nervous
energy' was actually spiritual energy unbridled. It never did make
sense to me that the more i depraved the body the stronger and more
energetic I became. Now I understand. I have always fought against
myself my whole life, and the visions..refusing to except that they are
real despite the accuracy of the profetic events. After Buddha hill I
resigned to except that I have dreams, and when I dream things they
really happen. But iot did not change my rejection of it.
The events of the past few days has changed me profoundly.
the reason my son showed up is because he could feel me and hear my
voice in his mind. We have been acutely connected lately, more than
usuial..trying to show each the same new song we just found...I have
felt he is in a desperate emotional and mental state and has lost
control of his life. It is not within me to conceive loosing my only
son. I believe I would cease to be and would not compute a reason to
continue. I have willed my body to stop functioning before and allowed
it to die. This makes his mental and emotional health more crucial. I
get desperate. I have walked to town in the freezing rain barefoot to
find him.
Thank you for letting me share this with you.
My son mentioned last night the night of the ruin magic. He remembered
the moment, the place, where in he suddenly found rest, peace. He got
more rest in that short time than he had in months...I think,
subconsciously, even though his eyes were closed, that he could see the
silk strings of light that wove a picture. I believe it actually lulled
him into that rem state like a lullaby to a child. Amazing to see what
a person can see with their eyes closed..........